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Just to say that I am alive.. [20 May 2013|05:36pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Haha... I am alive.

I got a job, a horrible job at United Furniture Warehouse that literally made me contemplate suicide. I realized then that I was not managing my anxiety or depression well and that the job was going to cause me to harm myself. Luckily, I have a fantastic partner who told me to quit because he hated seeing me come home in tears everyday.

So, after five months, I quit. Best thing I could have done for myself.

I applied for one job at a college while also applying for medical EI. And what do you know? I got it!

It was my dream job in a lot of ways, or at least the gate way to my dream job. I make a difference in people's lives and help people with no education or skills get educated and better their circumstances. It's very fulfilling. Plus, I absolutely love my coworkers and my supervisor is the best one could ask for. I also make roughly twice what I made at UFW.

So all in all, I am alive and thriving. Dealing with health issues and my inability to not binge, but I'm slowly working on it.

Kerrie

Steal My Heart

Life [13 Feb 2012|05:29pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I wish I could go back to my undergrad years, before I spent 100k on a useless education... Job hunting is incredibly depressing. I can't even get retrained with a useful diploma, since I'm almost out of student loan and interest-free time.

I am pretty much not qualified to do anything but work in archives, parks canada or retail. And since archives have cut back all their staff and parks canada doesn't operate in calgary.. and I can't physically do retail, well I'm screwed. It's awesome.

So here I am, 9 years later with a M.A. in History and am unemployable. I really wish I could go back to 2003 and tell my 19 year old self to fucking just study chemistry.

2 comments|Steal My Heart

urg [19 Dec 2011|07:28pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Fuck master's theses, and literature reviews. That is all.

Steal My Heart

Err... I'm posting for the first time in years? yes I do still read lj... [19 Oct 2011|02:39pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

I only feel the need to pose the question: Why do people bother spending eight years of their life, and get a $100,000 in debt on graduate school, only to be unemployable at the end?

Seriously. I am weeks away from having a master's degree, but I'm not qualified to work in an office, or at the university...apparently the only place I'm qualified to work is fucking Petcetera, which literally is an every day stuggle between needing the money and being able to walk.

That is all. I shall slink off and cry now.

3 comments|Steal My Heart

Fic Table [18 May 2010|03:28pm]
[ mood | amused ]

My 25fluffyfics claim - Prince of TennisCollapse )

Steal My Heart

[23 Apr 2009|11:14am]
[ mood | cynical ]

Sooo.. all about me. I have been meaning to update here, but you know me. "I'll do it later" turns into three weeks. Well, maybe two.

In school news, I got an email notification saying I didn't get anything in the Open Scholarship Competition from Calgary, then today I got an email stating I had won the Queen Elizabeth Graduate Master's Scholarship for 7,200. Yay for money, though I find it amusing. Sadly they will take this money off the money the department is going to give me =)

Saw the Dragonball movie. You know, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Of course, I had less than 0 expectations for it... so yeah. It was funny anyway. And Chow Yung Fat played Roshi so damn awesomely lol My biggest question: Why the hell does Piccolo look so pimp?

They were so close to the actual dragonball mythology, and yet just far enough away that they totally screwed themselves for later movies. Not that there will be later movies considering this one did so bad cause it was well... bad.

So, stupid txting to the states costs me like 130 dollars, which I don't really have. And then books I have to/want to read before I start work in the fall cost me another 100+ with exchange rate. If I could actually get a job here I would think about it. Except, there are no jobs here, it's probably worse than everywhere else. Yay small town. Not.

So! Going to Calgary in like three weeks =D Otafest ftw. Me and lordmork are going to live it up. Wahahaha. Speaking of Mork, I hope you get better D:

Getting my haircut today! I will be sure to post pictures.

Weight loss news: not going so well actually. I lost 55lbs, then gained and lost the same 5lbs for three months (from 50-55) and then I finally got back to 55 then was an idiot, had an emotional breakdown and gained the 5lbs back in one week. And I would imagine I'll gain weight today when I go too. Sigh. I need to do better. My mom's goal for me is 30lbs this summer. Personally, I'll just be happy getting to 75.

Also, BC pollen ftl.

18 comments|Steal My Heart

[29 Mar 2009|03:43pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

Yeah, landlords dryer died. How do I always seem to break appliances? This is the second one and I've only been living here 8 months....

Also, the wind splintered the gate post last night, which they'll probably blame on me, even though it's not my fault. ugh.

Steal My Heart

Update time! [20 Mar 2009|01:46pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

I totally have an ES21 mood theme but I've been too lazy to go upload it somewhere lol

So my life is pretty much blegh. Stressed from school and from the thought of surviving three months at my parents. Also from the realization that my issues with intimacy are far more serious than I thought they were. Sigh. Yeah, alone forever because of one life event. It's so retarded.

Grad school update: I sent away my acceptance and they were really happy to hear from me. Dr. Jameson even emailed me (even though the reply wasn't to her) to say how happy she was and to say that she wanted to meet if I was gonna be in Calgary. It feels nice to be wanted XD

I am not even going to go into the absurd attachment I have to a boy in Florida I met playing WoW -_-'

I want to play more WoW.. probably after this semester is done. I have two papers a presentation and two finals yet. One of the papers is done, the other will hopefully be done tomorrow or sunday.. we'll see. Presentation next week end. Yeah.

Good news though! I am going to Otafest ^^ My mom agreed to let me use airmiles to fly to Calgary and lordmork offered, very nicely, to put me up for the weekend. So yay! Anime fun! I am super excited, since I don't get to go to Anime Evolution that is in the same province -_-; I am very looking forward to May now..

And after my frustrating weightloss of the last 3 months I had a break down and ate a bunch of crap yesterday. I don't really feel guilty and I don't regret it. I just need to move on.

I should get to my walk before those BLACK (not exaggerating here) clouds roll in and dump rain and snow on us.

1 comment|Steal My Heart

Well now... [17 Feb 2009|03:36pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals


Haha that poor cat..

So I have been feeling crappy the last few days... my back for some inexplicable reason just like... died.. had to miss class yesterday cause I couldn't lift my backpack.. actually I spent most of the day in bed cause it was the only position that didn't hurt. Then yesterday started with the random bits of dizziness and nausea, which seems to be continuing today... headache included.. very lame.

Midterms tomorrow and Thursday. Tomorrow is English which I am going to do crap, but I just can't bring myself to study more.. mostly cause I don't know how I'm supposed to study for it short of reading over everything again which just isn't possible. -_- passage identification ftl. I just keep telling myself that it really doesn't matter int he long run and I should be able to pass.

Media, thankfully is looking to be in hand, so I'm less worried about it.

Now, just because I find it incredibly amusing:



I love Shin (the one in blue) lol it just seems so random for him to be dancing.. the others sort of make sense... (well maybe not Rui, the second one) but yeah.. it amuses me.. there is one for a bunch of series on youtube... I was very pleased to find it.

Steal My Heart

And some follow up... [15 Feb 2009|12:39pm]
[ mood | confused ]

funny pictures of cats with captions


Hehe

So, I talked to Dr. Jameson on Friday... Calgary's offer is $17,500 so I'm pretty much guaranteed the same amount as the SSHRC... my first year of grad school is funded! Yay!

Now I just have to decide when to go. Strategically/lazily/money-ily the smartest thing to do is just stay at my parents for May, June, maybe July.. and move for August 1st. That way I don't have to work or worry about paying summer bills and I can do a bunch of reading and writing. The problem with that is that I miss my friends and I want to see them as soon as possible. Also 2-3 months at my parents might drive me insane. I didn't handle 2 months last summer with them very well... but it would give Rob enough of a cushion that he would have more money than me going...

I don't know what to do ;_; I wanted to move in May... well mom can't move me in the end of April anyway, they are going to Cali, so it would have to be June... probably. Gah. What do you guys think? If anyone actually reads this... lol

Spent 3 hours taking notes on Weapons of Mass Deception yesterday. Really good film, even when you have to watch it twice to get all the info for a test. I think I'll do pretty good on media.. English is another matter. I know it really doesn't matter, but ugh I just can't stand to do badly lol It's a tick.

I need to clean.. the floors are icky >.< and I'll be leaving for a week at the end of the week.. I should get on that... but first! Coffee, breakfast and Jonathan!

5 comments|Steal My Heart

YA-HA! [12 Feb 2009|07:06pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

funny pictures of cats with captions
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I figured it fit... given the ES21 trend..

So HUGE news!

I got a call from Dr. Elizabeth Jameson today! Which I missed because the phone was in my pocket... but..! She said the grad committee voted 'enthusiastically' to accept me into the program! Her words~ And that they are prepared to offer me a generous funding package, so they really hope that I choose to come there!

YA-HA!

I feel so ridiculously proud of myself. It's like... all my hard work paid off, yay for academic acknowledgement! Wah, wah! I am officially Calgary bound! Though when is still a question...

3 comments|Steal My Heart

[12 Feb 2009|01:13pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Because I know nothing about BC, I didn't know anything about Bill C-42... thank you Gordon Campbell for turning this province into a fascist state. Good work.

Taking lessons from Stephen Harper are you?

Man, this province makes Alberta look like a socialist system -_-

2 comments|Steal My Heart

Don't you wish your captain was as hot as mine? [11 Feb 2009|11:03pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

Seriously, I'd play Amefuto if Hiruma was my captain.



Only a small part of his regular arsenal. The guy is better armed than most countries. Ahhh so much love.

Steal My Heart

Because everyone should have a captain this made of win. [11 Feb 2009|11:02pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

Seriously, I'd play Amefuto if Hiruma was my captain.

Steal My Heart

Boo [10 Feb 2009|03:31pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

funny pictures of cats with captions
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If only I could lay around all day.. oh wait, I slept until 11 and laid in bed till 12:30, that's right...

Of course then I had to get up.. and I made breakfast, and spent an hour and fifteen minutes doing the dishes. Now... I have to study! Midterms next wed and thurs -_- And the English ones include passage identification in which we get a passage, have to identify the story title, author, where the passage is from in the work and the significance of it to the story.

Yeah, we'ave read 8 short stories and 2 novels. Well, I'm still working on the second novel.

The 'Left Hand of Darkness' is ugh. I don't understand why Ursula Le Guin is lauded as being a fantastic writer. Oh sure, she's good mechanically, but her story telling sucks. It's like 3/4ers of the way through the book and it's JUST getting to the plot.. omg. You fail woman.

My mom says all her books are like that, boring.

So, now, to talk to Jonathan and work >.>

Steal My Heart

[09 Feb 2009|01:10pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I'm at school on my lunch break thing...

Damn english class... me and the girl beside me were the only one that thought the story was awesome and the the ending with the aliens made perfect sense.. clearly these people suck.

Not sure really what to say.. SSHRC emailed me to tell me that they got my application. I am thinking about posting my resume to the Alberta government summer jobs for students thing.

ES21 is filled with a lot of cheating.. it seems to me that in the NFL you are not allowed to chop people to knock them down, or like twist their arm behind their back and dislocate their shoulders on purpose.. but hey, my knoweldge of football is sad.

That is all.

Steal My Heart

And so Kerrie wrote a poem pertaining to WoW... [08 Feb 2009|05:06pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

Because I think my class needs an education about the inventory of a lvl 80 Hunter's bags

Taking an InventoryCollapse )

Oh ye~ah, that's how I fail at poetry.

2 comments|Steal My Heart

[08 Feb 2009|01:17pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Because every time I see it I giggle...

funny pictures of cats with captions

Got a bunch done yesterday... now I just need to finished reading 'The Left Hand of Darkness', which I don't particularly like, as well as a couple of chapters in poetry... then start studying!

I need to write my list/chant poem. I am totally going to write a WoW poem, but I am not clever enough... so I'll probably just write a list poem using the stuff in the bags.. wait, I think I wrote this yesterday...

Read the most awesome short story yesterday. It was really disturbing, but it was really good! It was called the 'The Screwfly Solution' written in the late 70s by a woman. It's about how men in certain areas of the earth killing all the women under the guise of 'cleansing' the earth for God. And how the areas spread.. and yeah. It's really good, and the science behind it makes perfect sense lol Sometime science fiction is fun. I'm pretty sure it's a commentary on sexism ;)

Ahh feets are cold.

ES21 is so awesome. Read a few more volumes last night. There was an obligatory bath house scene with Kakei and Mizumatchi! omg lol and also there is a character more 'evil' than Hiruma... well he's a different kind of evil. Hiruma is a cruel, mean, selfish, extortionist with a weapons fetish, but he usually means fairly well. He is 'good' evil. Agon is just an asshole all around. I want to see the Devil Bats destroy him -_- Oh and they will. Wahaha. They've had their one, obligatory shounen manga loss. I can't remember if Seigaku had one, but I'm pretty sure they did... maybe. Could have just been Ryouma that lost. Oh well.

2 comments|Steal My Heart

[07 Feb 2009|02:31pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

No fun macro today! I forgot until I had already loaded this page...

So yesterday I went on the epic journey to walmart.. which is blegh. But I figured I had better go while it was sunny since it's supposed to be rainy/snowy all week and that just sucks.

Went to mcdonalds, which was the start of a disaster day in regards to food (14 points over, go me). Though I only at like 13 points there.. still yeah. Anyway, I ordered a hamburger with shredded lettuce and tomato, small fries and a small diet coke. What I got: a hamburger with leaf lettuce and tomato, medium fries and a medium coke. I was not impressed. But being me, I didn't take it back, I just ate it -_-; Fail. It was cause the 15 year old behind the counter had one of her friends standing there and they were talking. I was like wtf management.

Bought a drink thermos so I can stop buying coffee at school. Buying coffee at school is bad for two reasons: 1 I often buy frap instead, which is no no. 2 the plain coffee at the cafeteria is better than the coffee at the coffee shop, thus I have to go to the cafe and... yeah culinary arts program.

Disaster.

I stayed up ridiculously late last night reading Eyeshield 21. The manga is better than the anime, though I missed the voices. I just have to say I love Kakei... His story is so ridiculous lol..

He goes to the US, being like 180cm tall in grade 7 right. He played football while in Japan and pwned people cause he was tall. But when he went to the US, he got pwned. So what does he do? He says "the hell with this!" and starts hanging out drinking, looking like a gangster. I feel the need to pose the page from the manga.

It's fairly big, so look under here..Collapse )

Yeah. He's about 13. Ahh I love shounen sports manga.

He of course goes on to reform his DRINKING habits and get back into football and pwn peoples faces off as a linebacker.

I need to make a list of things I have to do. Only reading homework this weekend, but there's lots of it. And I have to start studying for midterms, tues probably, since they are in a week and a half. And damn it, while Sci Fi might not be a problem, I have a feeling media studies will be. Just because OMFG JARGON and methodology history. Makes me cry.

I need to write the poem that's due the same day as my scifi midterm. I want to write it about WoW... I think I'm going to write a list poem, listing the contents of my hunter's bag. Though my DKs bag would be amusing too since it has the Frozen Axe of Death in it lol. Oh, but Sporling Snacks are so fun. Yeah, my class is so going to WTF... w00t for workshop?

Have I mentioned my love for ES21? Honestly, its the Prince of Tennis of football... like exactly the same in almost every way, except the characters themselves. And the sport. Same plot, right down the creating a national team (though their team has more players, thus can incorporate more from the 'enemy' teams). I love it. Hiruma and his swearing and weapons silos and balckmail.. ahh /tear.

Steal My Heart

Because apparently only Nevi loves me.. [05 Feb 2009|10:05pm]
[ mood | cold ]

My Valentinr - kerrie13
Get your own valentinr

It is cold, well my feet and hands are cold anyway.

I had a lame day. I gained weight, which is stupid because I lost some then gained a bunch back then lost most of that and then gained it back today. Ugh. Stupid, because I had a good week... even Monday

Want to write ES21.. but really, only 1/3 the way through the anime and 41 chapters intot he manga ... damn my love for epic sports shounen...

Thinking about cutting my hair off.. not sure its such a good idea tho...

And because this is the theme of my life XD

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

Steal My Heart

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